Hi, thanks for visiting my blog. You see I never realised that trying to get pregnant can be very difficult for some people. To show you how difficult it was for me to get pregnant, it would actually take me 7 years of trying. During those years my husband and I tried everything that we could think of to get pregnant. When I say everything I meant EVERYTHING. I tried all sorts of vitamins, different positions, visiting doctors. I even started to watch the moon cycle for crying out loud! I mean come on, I just wanted to get pregnant. There has got to be an easy way.

I was right, there is an easy way. But before finding the answer, I went through a lot of things that took me on an emotional roller coaster journey. So here is my story…

I remember vividly the day I got married. That day my husband and I were 21 years old. Like many other young couple, we have big dreams to pursue. We wanted to pursue our career, travel and see the world, basically we wanted to have fun. In other words we decided not to have children. In our mind children would be too much of a responsibilty and will slow us down in achieving our dreams.

So years went by…

In our fifth anniversary, we went out to a nice restaurant and celebrated life. Well life was good. But wait, we’re going to make it even better! We decided it was time for us to have a child. We had been holding off for long enough. Now that we have achieved our goals, there’s no reason to hold off even longer. I was so confident that I am going to conceive soon. Or so I thought…

I expected to miss my period during the first month of trying. I even bought a pack of home pregnancy test from my local supermarket just in case. But it turned out I got my period. Big deal right? It was only the first month. But it didn’t stop there. I got my second period, and third, and fourth. By the time it was sixth I thought to myself, err Houston we have a problem. It turned out I never had a chance to use my home pregnancy test as it went pass its expiry date. I threw it to the bin and felt like a loser.

My quest to find the magic pill started from that moment. We started seeing doctors, took medication, alternative therapies, all to no avail. We were healthy though. The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong. They suggested we take it easy and don’t stress over it.

So again, years went by…

For the first time after 6 years of trying I finally missed my period. I waited for 2 weeks and still no sign of period. Could this be it? Am I pregnant? I grabbed my car key and dashed to buy a home pregnancy test. I read the instruction as soon as I got home. One line means negative and double lines means positive. OK that’s easy so here goes… But I couldn’t keep my hand steady. I was so scared and excited at the same time my hands were shaking!

So I finally managed to do it properly and now the waiting is on. I kept repeating a mantra, “please be positive” over and over. It was the longest 2 minutes of my life.

While still chanting my mantra I saw the second line appear!

Oh my God, oh my God. Is this real? I still couldn’t believe it so back I went to the supermarket and bought every single brand that was on the shelf. Every single one of them was showing positive.

I couldn’t wait to break this wonderful news to my husband but he was still at the office. I wanted to tell him so bad that I almost call his cellphone but I gathered enough will power to wait. Finally he got home and the first thing he said was, “you look so happy, did we win a lottery or something?” and I said to him, “I’m pregnant”. The look on his face was priceless! We hugged, we laughed, we danced. Little did we know things were going to get ugly very soon.

The next day I went to the doctor to get my blood tested. Home pregnancy test was accurate for like 98% of the time so I wanted more assurance. After checking the result, the doctor congratulated me for my pregnancy.

Life went on normally during my first trimester. On the third month of my pregnancy it was time for my first scheduled ultrasound. So my husband took a day off and off we went to an imaging lab to see a glimpse of our child. The lady who was going to perform the ultrasound on me was super nice. She assured us that she’s been doing this for a long time and hence know what she was doing.

So she started examining using the ultrasound machine. The scanner slided to the left and right of my belly. While playing with the scanner she asked me how far into the pregnancy are you. So I said to her three months. And she had this puzzled look on her face.

After a moment of silence she asked me again, “Did the doctor told you you are pregnant?” And I said to her “well yes, what’s going on?” and she replied “I can’t see anything.” WHAT?

Well there is only two reasons either you miscarry or you never fell pregnant. WHAT?

How do I know if I miscarry? Well you’d be bleeding just like menstruation. But I didn’t.

That only left me with another option. I never fell pregnant. To say I was devastated was an understatement. But how could I not be pregnant? I had missed my period for three months. My hCG level was rising. Home test and blood test showed positive. “I’m going to write a report and your doctor will explain it to you” said the ultrasound lady.

So we went home. And on the way home I couldn’t hold my tears anymore. “It’s not fair. We’ve been trying so hard for so long.” My husband told me to be strong and assured me that we would get through this.

I still felt that I needed to share my burden so I called my mom. She must’ve heard me sobbing and asked me what’s wrong. I told her, “Mom, I lost my baby.” I actually said it despite the fact that I never had one in the first place. Because I always thought that I was carrying one in the last three months.

I believe about the wheel of life. Sometimes we’re at the top and sometimes at the bottom. When I hit rock bottom I just keep holding on. As long as I keep holding on, the wheel will take me up once again as it will never stop spinning.

So now my struggle is finally over. Three months after my phantom pregnancy incident I finally got pregnant for REAL!

I mentioned in the beginning, there is an easy way to get pregnant. It took me 7 years to figure this out. You see when I was researching on the internet, I came across an ebook called pregnancy miracle. It is a good book as it helped me figure out why I couldn’t get pregnant. I followed the 5 step recommendations explained in the book and now I have a healthy, beautiful baby girl.